Thursday, 17 February 2011

towards the end of another cycle

Sorry I really am rubbish at keeping a blog though I am trying to give it my best shot, My period is dooming on me ...spots, Aniexty , stressing headaches ..snapping crying blahh why does my body and my hormones have to be so messed up.

Saturday, 5 February 2011

Sleep or Lack of it

Last night I was so restless my arms my fingers my legs yet so tired ....Cant sleep but feel so heavy and tired its awful I eventually came downstairs and laid on the sofa squeezing a cushion as I just couldnt keep any part of me still I must of dropped off because i woke freezing and I took myself off to bed ..
.I am on cycle day 6 which means I am at my best and to be honest this month isnt very good knowing this is as good as it gets before the monster comes back :( Not sure if its because i only bled for 2 days this time or what its very strange normally when i come on i feel a release of pressure and I didnt feel it this time ...due to ovulate in about 6 days and then the downward spiral will start again ...I am finding the more I reconise the symptons the more anxious i become knowing just what to expect can be scarier then the unknown ...Knowing the monster will be back soon is hard to handle

Monday, 31 January 2011

Monday morning blues

Spent most of yesturday trying to keep a lid on things and its very draining but i think i just about managed , Today well thats another story and i completely lost it over my rent book of all things i couldnt find it and needed it for a form I was filling in , I threw the form and kicked the stairgate down ...did i feel any better no not one bit today i am full of rage nobody can do no right oh how i hate how the monster within gets out and starts to rule my life
Not sure what calms me and helps me chill out when i feel like this , I dont want to be on meds for 24/7 when i feel normal most of the time 

Tuesday, 25 January 2011

Today is just blah

I am due on anyday how do I know you may ask or you may assume that my cycles are regular well the signs are there
The spots are coming I can feel them
My head hurts
Stupid things are upsetting me
And last I feel like the worlds worst mother nothing I do for my children while in this state can be good enough in my opinion

At the moment I am just starting the nightmare cycle of pmdd and noticing the signs warning people to stay clear and I am still quite rational which in time u will see I am not at my worst times ..

Nothing is right today yet nothing is wrong either so here I am just going down the rollercoaster that is Pmdd I hope that as my lowest I still write and that it helps me
until later goodbye


Hi I am serina a 30 yr old mum of 4 , I suffer from PMDD and have done most of my life , I will being using this blog to vent and show an insight into how it feels having a monster living inside me until one day it emerges and i am turn into the vile monster that is caused by pmdd

Question: What is PMDD?
PMDD, or premenstrual dysphoric disorder, is the most severe form of PMS, or premenstrual syndrome. The diagnostic criteria for PMDD are included in the American Pyschiatric Association's DSM-IV, 4th Edition, published in 1994. In addition to the physical and emotional symptoms required for diagnosis of PMS, at least one of the following criteria must occur during the late-luteal phase of the menstrual cycle.
  • Feeling sad, hopeless, or suicidal
  • Severe feelings of stress, tension, or anxiety or having panic attacks
  • Mood swings that include bouts of crying
  • Constant irritability or anger that affects other people
  • Loss of interest in usual daily activities and relationships
  • Inability to concentrate or focus
  • Fatigue or loss of normal energy
  • Food cravings or bingeing
Thats all for tonight I am sure I will be back often :-) x